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to hold the wedding affair
1. Nurture Safe Friendships: This is the most important affair-preventer in my life.
"No marriage can give you everything." A husband is going to have interests that his wife will never care about like fishing, hunting, or Golfing. So he's less likely to stray if he can find some good guy buddies with whom to fish, hunt, and golf.
2. Recognize the Drug: Depressives and addicts are especially prone to affairs because of the head rush that comes with Infatuation. The spikes in dopamine and norepinephrine we experience upon connecting with someone new fools us into thinking that the sexy man or attractive woman at the bar holds the key to our nirvana and the end to our problems. This is the same as, say, the high from cocaine. Recognizing that that rush is not real, meaningful, or lasting, can help a married person to "just say no."
3. Keep Dating: I'm serious here. Visiting with your spouse with some regularity - just the two of you and no one else - will bring some very definite rewards to a marriage. By dating, you will learn how to talk to each other again.
In her book, "mating in Captivity," Esther Perel urges a client to imagine her spouse as if she has just met him, to put him into that mysterious category again. This is really hard when you got a little one screaming, "Wipe me!" from the bathroom. However, when you can pull it off, I find her theory very effective.
4. Find a Creative Outlet: People get lured into emotional and physical affairs because the Infatuation provides an exciting, stimulating place where they are energized.
1. Nurture Safe Friendships: This is the most important affair-preventer in my life.
"No marriage can give you everything." A husband is going to have interests that his wife will never care about like fishing, hunting, or Golfing. So he's less likely to stray if he can find some good guy buddies with whom to fish, hunt, and golf.
2. Recognize the Drug: Depressives and addicts are especially prone to affairs because of the head rush that comes with Infatuation. The spikes in dopamine and norepinephrine we experience upon connecting with someone new fools us into thinking that the sexy man or attractive woman at the bar holds the key to our nirvana and the end to our problems. This is the same as, say, the high from cocaine. Recognizing that that rush is not real, meaningful, or lasting, can help a married person to "just say no."
3. Keep Dating: I'm serious here. Visiting with your spouse with some regularity - just the two of you and no one else - will bring some very definite rewards to a marriage. By dating, you will learn how to talk to each other again.
In her book, "mating in Captivity," Esther Perel urges a client to imagine her spouse as if she has just met him, to put him into that mysterious category again. This is really hard when you got a little one screaming, "Wipe me!" from the bathroom. However, when you can pull it off, I find her theory very effective.
4. Find a Creative Outlet: People get lured into emotional and physical affairs because the Infatuation provides an exciting, stimulating place where they are energized.
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